America's Fifty Niftey United States
by Jenny F. Paul
Summary: About America's Fifty States.
1. Delaware and Pennsylvania

_**Chapter One: Delaware and Pennsylvania **_

"FATHER!" A girl screamed from a different room.

I sighed, and reluctently turned off the Timberwolves VS the Celtics basketball game, and heaved myself up. "What is it? I was watching a basketball game!" I exclaimed, and pushed my glasses back up the bridge of my nose.

"Just get over here!" A boy called, then quickly added. "Please!"

I groaned, and sluggishly walked into the room where a boy and a girl were standing with their backs to each-other, and frowning with their arms crossed. I sighed. "What is it this time?" I asked, then crossed my own arms.

"Penn keeps calling me small becuase I don't have that much land area, she should show me respect. I am _older _and _smarter _than her." the boy growled.

'Penn' sneered. "So? That doesn't mean anything!" she snarled.

I was getting so sick of their fighting, and more importantly, I was missing my basketball game. "Delaware! Pennsylvania! BOW FACE!" I growled like a drill sergent.

Delaware and Pennsylvania quickly stood up strait, heel-to-heal, with arms at their side. I put my hands behind my back, and started to pace back and forth in front of them. I'm not usually like this, but when someone interruptes my sport games, I get angry. "Now, I don't want anymore fighting for the rest of the week, or else." I growled.

"Or else what, sir?" Delaware asked in his military voice.

"Or else, I'll have you banned from baseball games for a week!" I threatened.

They both gasped. "You wouldn't." They said unison.

"Oh, I would." I smirked.

They sighed, and looked at eachother, and shook hands. "Come on! Hug! Hug! Hug!" I chanted.

They looked at me as if saying: _Seriously Dad? _but hugged anyway.

"Awwwww, that's my boy...and girl. Now come on, let's go see if the Timberwolves and Celtics are still playing." I said, and went into the living room without another word. They followed me and settles beside me on the couch. I turned on the TV and saw it was a time out, It looked like Minnesota and the Timberwolves' coach was giving them a quick pep talk. While Massachusetts was practically celibrating, and shouting dirty words at Minnesota.

"Come on Hal! Give up! These Timbermutts are done for!" Massachusetts howled. His team laughed.

"Shut up Max!" was Minnesota's only reply. He turned back to his team, and started to get red in the face. One of his players asked something, then he bonked him on the head. "Focus!" he said to them as they ran back on the court.

The Timberwolves were down by two, and there was a minuet left. There was back and forth, there was a second left, and Ricky Rubio had the ball. He tried for a half-court shot. The buzzer sounded, and it made it in. Minnesota lept up from the bench and cheered, while Massachusetts stomped on the court. I laughed.

Delaware looked at me. "Weren't you rooting for the Celtics, Dad?" he asked.

"Nah, I knew Hal was going to win this one. I had money on it," I said, then shouted at the TV. "Ha Bert! You owe me forty bucks!"

Pennsylvania raised a brow at me. "Who's Bert?"

"Someone who owes me money." I shrugged.

A few minuets later the door burst open, and I heard Minnesota and Massachusetts walk into the house. "That was stupid! I totally kicked your _ass. _Then Rubio had to go and make that amazing shot." I heard Massachusetts say.

Minnesota laughed. "Sore loser." he teased.

"Take that back!"

"No, just stop being a baby and let me enjoy myself."

I heard a vase breaking, then looked over my shoulder to see Minnesota and Massachusetts wrestling on the ground. "Aren't you going to break them up Dad?" Pennyslvanian asked.

I shrugged. "Nah."

"But why? You broke us up when _we_ were fighting." Delaware said, and heaved himself up from the couch.

"So? You were interrupting the game. It's fine now. They're just letting off some steam." I said, and waved my hand.

"Dad, they knocked down you're autographed baseball from Babe Ruth." Pennyslvania said.

"Okay. Someone is going to get hurt!" I said loudly and lept up from the couch.

After I said that, they immediatly stopped fighting. "We did not knock over his Babe Ruth ball!" they protested.

I looked at the table were it was supposed to be, and there it was. Sitting exectly the way I left it. I glanced at Pennsylvania who was grinning from the couch, her chin resting on her fists.

"Liar." I grinned.

"Something I picked up from you." she grinned back.

I walked over and gave her a bear hug. "That's my girl!" I said.

I'm guessing Minnesota and Massachusetts took that opportunity to slip away, becuase when I turned to tell them that they were off the hook, they were gone. I shrugged, and turned on the channel on the TV. "So who wants to watch John Wayne?"  
-

"Dad! Could you come here for a second?" Pennyslvania called.

I groaned inwardly. When Pennsylvania sought me out it was either my opinion on something, or she wanted me to do something for her. I walked into her room and she held a sparkly blue dress up to my face. "Do you think I should wear this on my date tonight?" she asked. "Or do you think it's to flashy?"

I frowned and lowerd the dress from my face. "Date? With who?"

"Andy Joel." she replied shortly.

My frowned deepend. "How come I've never met him?"

"Becuase I didn't want to scare him away." she replied and rolled her eyes.

"Hey!" I protested. "I have _feelings _you know. I'm not always the super awesome hero to protect you and stuff. So if that boy hurts you, just call me okay?"

"Sure Dad, whatever you say." Pennsylvania said, and kissed me on the cheek.  
~~

Pennsylvania was getting ready to leave, it looked like she was giving her make up and stuff a last minuet check. "Honey, you look fine. Just go." I said.

Pennsylvania smirked and crossed her arms. "I didn't know you were so eager to get me out of the house, Dad." she remarked.

I frowned. I sounded eager? "Nah, I was just gonna play poker with the boys."

"The boys? All 44 of them?" she asked.

"No, not _those_ boys. Japan, France, Lithuania, and Italy." I lied. Poker was next week.

"Alright have fun Dad." Pennsylvania said, hugged me, and left.

"Love you Samantha!" I called.

She just rolled her eyes, and waved. Andy Joel pulled up in a black new convertable, Pennsylvania hopped in. He quickly kissed her, then floored it. I narrowed my eyes, then shut the door. I hurried to the nearest phone, then called England.

I tapped my foot impatiently. "Come on, pick up Eyebrows." I muttered under my breath.

"Hello?" England growled irritably over the other side of the phone.

"England! I-I need some advice!" I stuttered.

"America? What for?" she asked, her voice softening slightly.

"Well, Pennsylvania went on a date with this guy, and, I feel like he's going to hurt her. I can't just go over there! She'd be embarrassed beyond belief," I confessed. "I-I need help."

"Yet you don't care if anyone else is embaressed." England muttered.

I frowned. "Shut up. If this is about London, I care about her, a lot. I care about you too."

England was silent on the other end. "England? Still there?" I asked.

"Y-yes."

"Good. now, do you have any advice?" I asked.

"Um, sorry America I don't. I have to hang up now."

"Oh, well, see ya England." I said and hung up.

I sighed, and slumped down on the couch. "Dad?"

I turned my head and saw Delaware standing there, looking worried. "Are you okay?" he asked and sat down on the couch next to me.

I sighed and shook my head. "No, I'm worried about your sister."

Delware nodded in agreement. "You should be," he said. "She's going out with Andy Joel right?"

I nodded, getting very interested now.

"He's a player. He'll probably want to have some 'you know what' with Pennsylvania in the middle of the date," Delaware said. "I would've tagged along, but Pennsylvania would've been curious of me being there without a date." he said and shrugged.

I was going to say something, then a lightbulb lit up my head. "Idea," I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing, just go get Maine over here would you?" I said and grinned.  
~~

"Dad! What is it? I was babysitting the Twin Cities, this _better _be good. If Minnesota finds out that I left them alone he'd _kill _me. And he wouldn't pay me!" Maine protested as Delaware and I made her follow us.

"Don't worry," I said optomistically. "I told them to behave, or else Grandpa will punish them."

I reached the nearest phone and waited for the person to pick up.

"Hello?"

"France! Get your harry ass over here!"

"America? Why?"

"Well, Maine wants a makeover!"

"W-what?" Maine spluttered, then looked at Delaware. "Did you know about this?"

Delaware nodded. "But it's to help out Penn." he quickly added.

"It better not be a prank Colorado, Wyoming, and Minnesota are pulling again. Like last time." Maine grumbled.

"I'll be right over!"

I grinned as France hung up, and shook my head. "It's no prank, but I have to admit, the prank was pretty funny. And Wyoming was right, the bow _was _a nice touch." I smirked and patted Maine's head.

Maine's brow furrowed. "Dad, after we help out Penn, I am going to kill you."  
~~

After France's makeover Maine looked like a different person. She looked like her mother, exept modernized. She had a red dress, lipstick and her curly locks of brown hair tumbled down her shoulders. "You look swell Jenny," I said casually. "The boys will flock over you...at where ever you're going."

"Andy and Penn went to a club!" Delaware called from his room.

I immediatly frowned. A club? God, what was that girl _thinking_? When I was her age, I went to saloons and drank whiskey 'till I dropp- Okay, maybe not the best example, but you get my point. "What club?" I asked and pushed my glasses back up the bridge of my nose.

"The Black Panther," Delaware said as he came out of his room. He looked very spiffy, well, spiffier than normal. He wore a red flannel, with a gray white long sleeved shirt under that, jeans, and some sneakers. He managed to tame his wild dirty blonde-almost brown hair, he got it from just rolled out of bed, to scruffy and not combed. I glanced at Maine who was staring at Delaware.

"Is that really you?" she asked dumbly.

Delaware nodded and frowned. "Do I look alright?" he asked and glanced at his flannel. "This one doesn't have barbacue stains on it, does it?"

Maine shook her head and walked over to Delaware. "Dang bro! I'd totally go out with you!" Maine whistled and slung her arm around Delware's shoulders. "I mean, if we weren't siblings." she quickly added.

"Um, yeah. So, can we go now?" Delaware asked, clearly uncomfortable.

"Yeah, the sooner we get Penn out, the sooner I can go to McDonalds and celebrate, now let's roll out." I said and grabbed my car keys.  
~~

I was parked in the parking lot for the night club 'The Black Panther' and tapped the steering wheel imaptiently. What was taking them so long? I felt something vibrate in my pocket. "OH CRAP SOMETHING'S VIBRATING IN MY PANTS!" I shouted, then realised it was my phone. I rolled my eyes at myself and checked the caller ID.

London.

I frowned, why would London be calling me? I shurgged and answered it. "Hey kiddo." I said cheerfully.

"Hey Dad." London's voice said on the other line.

"What's up?" I asked and relclined my seat a little.

"Well, Mom said you called her today, is something wrong?" she asked her voice holding worry.

"Yeah, Pennsylvania has some boy-trouble. No biggie." I said casually.

"She said you still cared about me and her."

I nodded, then remembered we were talking over the phone. "I do. Very much." I said sincerly.

"Then promise you'll visit more often?" she asked.

"I promise."

Then I saw Delaware, Maine, and Pennsylvania exit the night club. "Gotta go, see you later!" I said.

"Okay, bye." she said and hung up.

I put the phone back into my pocket and unlocked the door so Delaware, Pennsylavnia, and Maine could get in. I just then noticed that Pennsylvania was crying. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"A-Andy ditched me for his e-ex-girlfriend." she sniffed.

I frowned. "How about I go shoot him?" I suggested.

Pennsylvania shook her head. "No, it's alright. I just want to go home." she said shakily.

I nodded and drove home.  
-

"Hey! Charles!" I called to Delaware.

Delaware flinched and turned around. "Yeah Dad?" he asked.

I frowned. "You act like I'm going hurt you or something. I was just going to ask if you want to go to the World Meeting with me." I said.

Delaware frowned. "You never asked me to go before." he pointed out.

I shrugged. This was true. "Well, all the countries are bringing their capitols and stuff, so, I decided to bring you!" I said and smiled.

"But, I'm not your capitol Dad, in case you forgot." he protested.

I rolled my eyes. "Well duh. But DC said he had plans today, so I decided to bring you!"

"Glad to see I'm your second choice." Delaware grumbled.

"Yeah! Let's go now, we can make it on time if we hurry." I said and grabbed my suitcase and Delaware's suitcase.

"Wait! You knew I was coming?" Delaware sputtered.

I nodded and kicked the door open. We hurried to my car, and I put the medal to the medal.  
~~

I sighed comfortably and snuggled into my blanket. "How are you taking the flight, Charlie?" I asked.

"I _really _don't want another drink. Yes, I'm out of collage. No, I have a girlfriend!" he said to the flight attendant who sighed and rolled her drink cart away.

I looked up from my blanket and frowned at him. "You don't have a-"

Delaware covered my mouth. "_Shhhhh! They might hear you!_" he hissed.

I removed his hand from my mouth. "They?"

"The flight attendants!" he said with an exasperated sigh.

"I wish I had girls flock all over me. You say it like it's a curse!" I laughed.

"I just hope all the girl capitols there won't hit on me. I already had _atleast _ten girls flirt with me, and one of them was an airport cop!" he exclaimed.

I frowned. "And you didn't even get the digits? Gosh Charlie, I haven't raised you right!"

Delaware was about to say something, but the captain's voice interrupted. "We will now be decending into Moscow, Russia. The descent will take about twenty minuets. The temperature is sixty-four degrees winds blowing to the north. I hope you have enjoyed your flight and continue flying with American Airlines."  
~~

"Hello losers! America and son are here!" I shouted as I burst through the door. I saw everyone's head turn and I saw Germany had a slide-show ready and everything. He must be talking about something stupid, like Global Warming. I saw my brother Matthew and England face-palm, Delaware did too.

"Nice of you to finally join us, America." Germany sighed.

"Hey! My plane was late! Don't blame me!" I exclaimed and sat next to England and London. Delaware sat next to me, and he was sitting next to Matthew and his capitol, Ottawa. Delware looked like he was trying not to notice Ottawa gawking at him.

"Now, let's get back to the meeting," Germany said and started about babbling about treaties and such. England glared at me. I held my hands up. "What?" I whispered.

"Why were you late? I know you, you were using the plane as a cover up." she huffed.

"I was not! I was serious that time!" I whispered furiously.

"Dad, sorry to cut into your conversation, but, can I switch seats with you? Ottawa is making me feel a little uncomfortable." Delware whispered and motioned to Ottawa, who had this dreamy look on her face and staring at Delware.

"Sorry dude. Matty'll talk to her." I whispered back.

Delware sighed. I heard Matthew say, "Sorry, she's not usually like this..."

I turned back to England, but just kept looking at Germany's slideshow presentation and acted all interested. Maybe she wasn't, you don't know with England. "I'm sorry," I whispered to her. "I did leave a little late, I was going to take an earlier plane, but I missed it."

She didn't even look at me, or reply. I frowned and leaned back in my seat, I saw London look at me and mouth, _Sorry, she's a little crabby today._

I nodded, then mouthed back. _Wait, she isn't always like this?_

London rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the slide-show.

"This is going to be a long meeting." I mumbled.  
~~

Delware was taking a shower, and I was sitting on my bed watching re-runs of _Jersey Shore_. Called _Jersey Whore _by everyone else. Don't get me wrong, it was a good show. Snooki is just misunderstood. Wait, did I mention that we were at a hotel in Russia? I'm surprised that they had even _English _speaking channels on TV. Heck, I'm surprised they had a TV.

I heard a knock on the door. "Charlie! Can you get the door?" I shouted and plopped down on my bed.

"Little busy right now Dad!" he shouted back.

I sighed. "Gotta do _everything_ myself," I grumbled. I heaved myself out of my bed and opened the door. "I told you already! We don't want more towe-" I stopped mid-sentence when I saw who it was.

"Hello America," England said.

"Oh! Hey England!" I exclaimed.

"May I come in?" she asked uncertainly.

I nodded. "Sure!"

I opened the door wider to let her in and she sat down on my bed. "Just to warn you, Charlie-I mean Delaware is in the shower." I said and jabbed my thumb towards the bathroom.

"Good to know. Anyway, I came to apologize for being rude and not talking to you the rest of the day." England confessed.

I huffed. "Well you _should _be! I was _trying _to-"

I was cut off by England glaring at me. I sighed. "I accept your apology." I said.

"Good. Now, I'm going to be leaving. London is probably worried about me." England said and walked toward the door.

"Wait! Atleast let me open the door for you." I said and opened it with a slight bow, just to tease her.

England's face turned tomato red. "Thank you." she mumbled.

Before she walked out the door I put my arm around her. "See you later?" I whispered.

"O-okay." she stuttered.

I gave her a quick peck on the lips, then put my arm back to my side. "Goodbye." England said with a furious blush and walked away.  
-

**Author's Note:**

**God, this took me _forever_ to write. But, it's done now.**

**So, next chapter is Minnesota, Wyoming, and Alaska.**

**Bios for Delaware and Pennsylvania:**

**Name: Delaware  
Real Name: Charles Jones  
Age: Looks 17  
Personality: Delaware is a shy guy, he gets flocked by the ladies and the poor guy doesn't like it.  
History: Go to Wikipedia**

**Name: Pennsylvania  
Real Name: Samantha Jones  
Age: Looks 16  
Personality: Pennsylvania is an outgoing girl, she isn't afraid to go and fight for what she believes in.  
History: Go to Wikipedia**


	2. Minnesota, Wyoming, Alaska, Twin Cities

_**Chapter Two: Minnesota, Wyoming, and Alaska. Ft. The Twin Cities**_

"Goal!" Minnesota shouted and threw his arms in the air. He turned to me and grinned. "I've kicked your butt five times in a row, Dad. Don't you want to stop yet?" he asked and leaned on his hockey stick.

I took off my hockey mask and sighed. "You are definatley my brother's nephew." I said.

"Thanks?" Minnesota said.

"Way to go Minnesota!" Wyoming and Alaska cheered.

I huffed. "Hey! I was close that time!"

Wyoming rolled her eyes. "Sure Dad, 50 to 9 is totally close." she replied and started to walk toward us.

The Twin Cities ran ahead of Wyoming and Alaska. "Way to go Dad!" Minneapolis exclaimed. "I knew you could beat that old geezer!"

St. Paul frowned at Minneapolis. "That's rude, you have to be more civilized!" he scolded.

Minneapolis sneered. "Like you?"

"Yeah, like me. You're a slob!" St. Paul replied.

"Take that back!"

"Make me!"

Minnesota rolled his eyes and picked up Minneapolis. "D-Dad!" she squealed. "Put me down! I'm to old to be carried!"

"Oh yeah? You were acting like a baby, so why shouldn't I treat you like one?" he said.

"I was _not _acting like a baby! If you should pick up anyone, it should be St. Paul!" she pouted and folded her arms.

"Hey," Alaska grunted and frowned. "You shouldn't be fighting."

Minnesota nodded in agreement, and put down Minneapolis. "So, Dad," Minnesota said to me. "I was thinking about going fishing with The Twins, Wyoming, and Alaska. You want to come?" he offered.

I almost rolled my eyes. Fishing and hockey, he was Mattie's nephew. "Sure. Why not?" I said. "Wait, you got an extra fishing pole? Jenna broke mine." Which was a stupid question, Minnesota always had extra fishing supplies.

Minnesota raised his eyebrow. "Broke? How?" he asked and folded his arms.

I scratched the back of my head. "Well, she wanted to borrow it, and um, she kinda went deep sea fishing with Kevin, and, it snapped when she was realing in a marlin." I explained. Minnesota exhailed. He was only mad becuase it was the fishing pole he bought me for Christmas. And Minnesota gets very worked up about fishing. It's like his state sport or something.

"You know how much that thing cost?" He asked. "I'm kind of tight on money right now, Dad. So, I hope she offered to buy you another one."

"Yeah, she did. Don't worry 'bout it. 'Kay?" I said.

Something made a buzzing noise after I said that. I looked around. Alaska sighed and took his phone out of his pocket, he looked at it and frowned deeply. "Dad, it's for you." He said and pushed the phone into my hands.

I frowned at the phone and read the Caller ID: _Mom_.

"Dude! I'm not talking to your Mom! She's calling _you _not _me_." I exclaimed at pushed the phone back into Alaska's hands.

"Thanks a lot, Dad," he muttered and answered it. "Hey Mom. How's it going?"

After a moment of silence he said, "Oh, you want to talk to Dad?" he said and cast a sideways glance at me.

I groaned when he handed me the phone. "Hello Russia." I said coldly.

"America." she responded.

"What do you want? I was about to take my two boys, daughter, and grand-kids fishing." I said. It still sounds weird calling The Twins my grand-kids.

"Actually, I'm taking us fishing." Minnesota corrected.

I ignored him and waited for Russia's responce. "I want Alaska to come over to my house for a few days." she said.

My frown deepened. "Well, I don't know if that's okay. Why don't you ask him?"

"He'll say no, you know that."

"Well, What's your reason? He's apart of the United States." I objected.

"You can come along if you wish," Russia said but sounded really annoyed about it.

"I'll think about, I'll call you back." I said and hung up.

"What was that about?" Minnesota asked and hefted the hockey stick and held Minneapolis's hand, who was struggling to get away from her father.

"Oh, nothing," I said casually and shrugged. "Just Russia being annoying as usual."  
~~~

Minnesota was cleaning fish in the kitchen with St. Paul and Minneapolis. While I watched becuase, I had no idea how to clean a fish. Minnesota told St. Paul to throw away the fish guts, but he shivered and declined. But Minneapolis happily obliged and carried the fish guts to the trash. Minnesota fisnished cleaning the fish and wiped the blood on the apron he was wearing, which was already pretty stained with blood. "Hey, Paul, get the skillet out please." he said and took the apron off and hung it in the closet.

"Sure, Dad." St. Paul said, opened a cuppord and handed Minnesota a frying pan.

"Thank you," he replied and plopped the cleaned fish on the skillet.

I walked over to Minnesota and looked over his shoulder. "Smells good, is it catfish?"

Minnesota nodded. "Yeah, now. Let me fry my fish and you go play cards with Wyoming or something." Minnesota said and sprinkled some seasoning on the fish.

"But I don't wanna! Emma always cheats when we play cards!" I pouted and folded my arms.

Minnesota laughed a little. "Just ask Alaska to play, he doesn't like it when people cheat."

"Okay, fine." I said and marched out of the room.

Wyoming was lounging on the couch and watching TV, while Alaska was sitting quietly next to her. He glanced over at me and nodded. "Hello Dad." He said shortly and settled his hands in his lap. Wyoming looked over at me and grinned. "Minnesota kick you out of the kitchen?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, you guys want to play cards?" I asked and walked over to a desk and rummaged around for a deck of cards.

"Sure!" Wyoming exclaimed. "I'll kick your butt, just like always!"

"You win because you cheat," Alaska said flatly and frowned at his sister.

Wyoming frowned and brushed a peice of her blonde hair out of her face. "What do you know Alaska? Your still considered Sewerd's Folly to me." Wyoming hissed.

Alaska's forehead creased as he got up from the couch. "Oh? Gold was discovered in my state, and everyone went rushing to my place to strike their fortune. Including you. Not such a folly, now am I?" Alaska said coldly.

Wyoming growled. "Why you little...BUCKY, GET IN HERE!" she shouted and then the door started to shake, pretty soon, a large bull buffalo charged through the door. Bucky snorted and tossed his head.

"Medved!" Alaska called and a large male bear lumbered through the door.

"Come on guys! You _really _had to bring Bucky and Medved?" I exclaimed.

But Wyoming and Alaska didn't listen to me. "Hei! Hva faen gjør dere der!" Minnesota called from the kitchen.

"In _American, _Hal!" I called and sighed, that boy has gotta stop speaking Norwegian, Danish, Swedish, AND French to me. I don't understand those languages.

"Sorry, I meant, what the HELL are you doing in my living room? I heard the words 'Bucky' and 'Medved'!" Minnesota shouted.

"Uhhh-" Before I could say a complete sentance, Minnesota stormed into the room and stopped when he saw Alaska and Wyoming glowering at each other with their vicous animal partners at their side.

"If God be my witness, I will drop-kick _both_ of your asses into next year if you don't get them out. I'll get Howl in here if I have to." Minnesota warned.

"Just let me and Medved show her who's boss, then Medved will go back to the barn." Alaska said and cracked his knuckles.

"Paul!" someone whispered behind me. I turned around to see Minneapolis peeking around a corner and grinning. St. Paul poked his head out a bit his lip.

"Go back in the kitchen you two."I said and herded them into the kitchen.

"C'ome on Grandpa!" Minneapolis whined and crossed her arms. "Dad was going to kick their butts! And we never see Howl anymore."

I ignored her and went back to the living room. "Howl won't stand a chance against Bucky," Wyoming scoffed and patted Bucky on the back.

Minnesota sneered. "Howl eats buffalo like Bucky for breakfast, literally."

"Well, Medved could eat Howl and Bucky if he wanted to," Alaska shrugged and glanced at his bear friend.

"I've had enough of this," Minnesota said. "Bucky, Medved, _out_."

Bucky and Medved glared at each other once more, before lumbering in a sigle-file line out. Minnesota wiped his hands and smiled slightly. "So, who wants some catfish?"  
-

"Dad!" Wyoming called from behind me.

I turned slightly. "Yeah, what is it Emma?" I asked.

She looked out of breath, but exited. "There's a rodeo goin' on tonight, want to come? You can be the guest of honor!" she exclaimed and waved a flier in my face.

I grabbed the flier from her and read it over.

_GRAND RODEO IN JACKSON, WYOMING_

_The rodeo takes place at 7:00 at Jackson, Wyoming. All are invited!_

_Bring the kids too! We got a rodeo clown!_

_Host and Bronco rider: Emma Jones_

I shrugged. "I might go, England said she might invite me over for tea and scones." I said. But I really wanted to go, it reminds me of when I was a kid. I was the baddest kid in the West.

"Really Dad? _England's scones_?" Wyoming asked and a grin spread over her face. "I know it's not the scones and tea you want."

I blushed slightly. "Now listen here young lady..." I started but Wyoming looked like she was going to burst out laughing.

"Fine you little goof," I said and put her in a head-lock. "I'll come." I gave her a quick noogie and then let her go.

"Alright," she said and grinned. "See you at seven!"  
~~~

I arrived at the rodeo not in my red Ferrari, but in my old beat up pick-up. I was wearing faded jeans, an old flanel, and worn out sneakers. I parked my pick-up and walked toward the place where they were having the rodeo. I kept my eyes peeled for Emma, she said she'd meet me by the enterance. I loitered around until I spotted her dirty-blonde hair. I was about to call to her, but I saw she was talking to a boy. He had windblown brown hair, dark eyes, and needed to shave.

I narrowed my eyes at them and adjusted my glasses. The boy probably saw me staring, gave her a fleeting kiss, and left. Wyoming stood there for a second, then looked around and saw me. She hurried over and I grinned from ear-to-ear. "Who was that?" I asked, still grinning.

"None of your buisness." she mumbled and she got real red.

"Come on, you were teasing me about England. Who was he? I want to know who's gonna be the father of my grandchildren." I said and felt like breaking down laughing.

Wyoming went completely red. "W-what?" she sputtered.

"I'm kidding!" I laughed and pulled her into a hug with my arm. "But seriously, who is he."

"Henry Jefferson." she said.

I pulled back my arm and smiled. "Well good for you kiddo. Come on, let's go find a seat." I said and she led me in.

After twenty minuets of looking, we finally found a spot to sit. When the rodeo began, a dude came out into the ring and started talking about stuff, I wasn't really paying attention. Then the first rider came in riding a bull, he was wipping his hat around and looking like he was having a grand old time. Until he fell off, that is.

The rodeo clown came on next, he started with one of his corny jokes, and everyone laughed. Gosh this felt good, I haven't been to a rodeo in years. After awhile Wyoming shook me. "Gotta go Dad, I'm gonna ride next."

"O-" I stopped. "Wait, can I, uh, ride too?"

"What?"

"You know, hop on a ol' bronco? For old times sake?" I asked, and gave her my puppy dog eyes.

Wyoming looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. "Sure, I've never seen you ride. Minnesota said your the best in the West." she said and grinned.

"Just the West?" I asked and grinned along with her. We both got up and laughed, then walked toward the place wehre they kept the bulls and horses.

Wyoming went the the announcer and whispered something in his ear. He raised an eyebrow at her, then nodded. "There's been a change in plans! Emma Jones's brother, Alfred Jones, will be riding!" he announced in a loud voice. Wait, brother? Oh I get it, it would be weird to be called her dad when we look about the same age.

I nodded to her and jumped up on a bronco, who was impatiently snorting and butting it's head up againts the cage. The cage swung open and the bronco lept out and tried to buck me off. "Whoa!" I yelped as it almost threw me off. I held on the the reins and I have no idea how long I stayed on that thing, but people were cheering like mad.

When I finally fell of, some guys rushed out and grabbed the spirited horse by the reins and led it away. I got up, brushed of my jeans and walked out the ring, waving and smiling at all the cheering people. "Alfred is King!" I shouted and jogged out.

I found Wyoming talking with Henry Jefferson, when he saw me he smiled. "Hi Al! Emma told me I could call you that, great riding tonight!" He said and shook my hand.

"Thanks, Henry." I said and grinned. This dude wasn't so bad. He knows a cool dude when he sees one.

"Well, Nice seein' ya, sis." I said and winked at Wyoming.

She smiled back at me. "See ya, bro."

I waved at them and started walking to my old pick-up.

That was fun.  
-

"Dad! You're seriously not making me got to Mom's." Alaska exclaimed as his eyes widened.

"Hey, your Mom wants to see you," I replied. "I'll be going with, don't worry."

"But still! Since when has Mom wanted to see me?" Alaska inquired.

"Since now. Come on. Don't make me get Kevin." I warned and stuffed a shirt in my suitcase.

Alaska huffed. "I'm not scared of Texas. He should be scared of me." he said and crossed.

I smiled a bit. "Okay, fine. But your still going. It's only for two days."

"Fine." Alaska finally gave up and started packing his suitcase.  
~~~

Alaska and I were sitting on the plane, on our way to visit Russia. Alaska sighed and glanced out the small windows, I glanced at him. "What's wrong, Sasha?" I asked and ruffled his hair.

The corners of his lips lifted a bit. "Well, I'm not looking forward to seeing Moscow. Or St. Petersburg. Or any of them." Alaska admitted.

"Aww don't worry. Your half brothers and sisters will be super exited to see 'ya!" I said.

Alaska shrugged. "I guess so."  
~~~

I knocked on Russia's huge door. "Heelloo? Russia? It's Alaska and America!"

The door open and Lithuania was standing there. "Oh! Hello America and Alaska." he said and smiled.

"Dude!" I exclaimed and pulled Lithuania into a bear hug.

"N-nice to see you too A-America," Lithuania stuttered and I let him go. "Please, come in." He said politley and opened the door wider so Alaska and I could walk in. We waltzed in and the a voice called from the kitchen. "Father? Who's at the door?"

"Oh! Vilnius, America and Alaska are going to be staying here for the weekend." Lithuania replied and led us into the kitchen.

Vilnius was leaning on broom and smiled when he saw us. "Hello, America. Alaska." he said.

Alaska nodded to Vilnius. "Hey, kiddo. Long time no see." I said with a wide grin.

"Good, I wonder were Latvia and Estonia are," Lithuania wondered.

"And Riga and Tallinn." Vilnius added.

"We're up here!" a voice called from upstairs. Lithuania quickly glanced around the room and nodded toward Vilnius. "You can put the broom away, your done in here."

Vinlius nodded and put the broom into a closet and walked up the stairs to go find Estonia, Latvia, and their capitals. Alaska and I followed because we didn't know what else to do.

Latvia and Riga were dusting the bookshelf vigorusly while Estonia ad Tallinn were shouting at each other in Estonian.

"What's wrong?" Lithuania asked Estonia.

"Russia demands the whole house be cleaned in an hour. An _hour Lithuania!_ She wants it to be spick and span because she's hosting a ball tonight!" Esonia exclaimed and cursed in Estonian.

"A ball? Why didn't she tell us before?" Vilnius asked, his forehead creased with annoyance.

"You know Russia. Come on, we better get working. Estonia, you work on the downstairs area," Lithuania directed. Estonia nodded reluctently and ran out of the room. "Tallinn, you go and clean the dining room. Lativia, you and Riga go and finish the living room. Vilnius and I will finish the upstairs." he said then left the room, probably to look for cleaning supplies. Vilnius, Tallinn, Lativa, and Riga scattered, leaving me and Alaska standing in the room.  
~~~

"There, done." Lithuania said and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. I frowned and leaned on my broom.

"You're _welcome_." I huffed.

Lithuania looked at me and smiled. "Oh, and thank you for the help, America." he said gratefully.

Vilnius leaned over to his Dad, whispered something, then they both laughed. Vilnius probably said something about my cleaning, he was right of course, I am _horrible_ at cleaning. But, it still hurt my feelings. "Lithuania? Estonia? Latvia?" A female voice called from downstairs.

Lithuania turned white and exhailed. "Let's go downstairs," He said and herded Vilnius downstairs. Alaska and I followed them down the stairs.

Estonia stood with his head bowed to Russia and Moscow, while Riga and Latvia were shaking. Only Tallinn folded his arms and stood strait. "Ah, Alaska, America. There you are," Russia said and completely ignored Lithuania and Vilnius.(They looked pretty glad about it)

She hugged Alaska but Alaska didn't hug back. "Hello Mother." He said stiffly. She let go and glared at me and I held up my hands. What did _I_ do? Moscow came over and grinned at his half-sibling.

"Hello _A__merikanskiy._" Moscow laughed and ruffled Alaska's hair. (And Alaska was about a foot taller than his half-sibling)

"Yes, hello _K__ommunista Ublyudka_." Alaska said flatly.

Moscow looked offended and angry all at the same time. "_Smotretʹ spinu, suka._" he threatened and stalked away.

Alaska smiled smugly after him. "So," Russia said to Lithuania. "I hope that the house is clean for the ball I am hosting this evening, _da_?" Russia asked.

Lithuania nodded. "Yes, Ms. Russia." he said.

"If you don't mind me asking, Ms. Russia," Vilnius blurted. "Why didn't you tell us earlier that you were hosting a ball?"

Russia froze and stared at Vilnius, who held her gaze calmly. Lithuania looked back and forth between them and bit his lowerlip. So Vilnius bad mouthed Russia, so what? My kids bad mouth me all the time and the atmosphere doesn't get all weird and creepy like this.

"Oh, Russia," I interrupted. "We didn't bring anything formal." I said and desperatley tried to get out of going to the ball, I wanted to go site-seeing, maybe teepee a Russian castle or a house or Russia's house.

"I may have some formal wear for you both upstairs." She said and turned to climb up her magnificent stair case.

Alaska shrugged and followed his mother up the stairs. "Why, me?" I asked and followed Russia and Alaska up the stairs.  
~~~

I have to say, I looked pretty damn hot in that tux. I smiled at myself in the mirror and leaned in closer to adjust my glasses. I heard shouting from the room next to mine. I naturally started to get curious and nosy, so I snuck out in the hall and pressed my ear to the door.

"What were you _thinking?_ Asking Russia a stupid question like that. Do you know where stupid questions get you? No where. But they give you a good whipping and no food for a week." I heard Lithuania shout. I don't think I've ever seen, (Or heard) Lithuania so mad before.

"It was just a question. She should treat us better. We come here to work on our own free will, but you still act as if we're under her rule. She can still whip us to death if she wants, it's just madness! I say we just up and leave and go back to our place. We've been here a _week, _Father. Don't you think we should just go?" Vilnius shouted back, his voice holding more annoyance than anger.

It was quiet for a moment, then I heard footsteps coming to the door. "We will not speak of it the rest of the night, do you hear me Jonas?" he asked, using Vilnius's human name.

"But Father-"

"We will _not_ speak of it!" He said forcefully.

I quickly ran back to my room before Lithuania opened the door. I walked out and pretended to act as if I didn't hear a thing. Lithuania turned towards me, he was dressed up for the ball. His hear was tied back and he was wearing a tuxedo with a tie. His face looked flushed as he forced a smile at me. "Hello Mr. America." He said politely.

"Yeah, hey dude." I replied and smiled back.

I scampered down the steps and saw that Russia had invited a lot of the countries. I saw Ireland and Germany in deep conversation, they both held a bottle of beer and smiled. Luxembourg was frowning at Netherlands, who was smoking his pipe and Belgium was also giving him looks. Nicaragua, Hondures, El Savador, and Panama laughed and danced around Mexico who was waving around a sombrero.

I saw Russia and walked up to her casually, my hands in my pockets. "Nice party you got here." I said.

I looked around and saw Vilnius talking to his friend Warsaw, who was laughing and punching him in the arm. Lithuania was talking with Poland (who was wearing a tux, which kinda surpised me) and Lithuania sighed and shook his head.

Tallinn and Helskini were just chatting and Riga and St. Petersburg were chatting.

Alaska was standing there by himself, sipping from a vodka bottle. I walked over to him and stood by him. "Nice party, huh?" I asked.

He shrugged and took a swig from the bottle. "I actually kinda wish the states were here." Alaska admitted.

I blinked, he's usually anti-social. Especially towards the states. "Are you drunk?" I asked, then laughed after I said it.

Alaska chuckled and shook his head. "No, I just realised how much better it is at your place than at Mom's." he said and glanced around.

I took out my IPhone and went to my contacts. I had a special one that said 'States', so I could text them all at once. '_There's a party at Russia's, be here if thirty!' _I texted.

I had no idea how the hell they'd get here in thirty minuets, but whatever. This is a story, I can break the laws of physics if I want to. I slipped my phone back in my pocket and told Alaska I was going to get a beer. He nodded and chugged his vodka.

I went to go grab a beer and walked over to Ireland and Germany, who were now wasted.

"-then I shoved a potato up his ass and I was like, "Why do 'ya have that potato up yer ass?'" Ireland slurred and laughed. Germany laughed and pounded Ireland on the back.

I frowned. What. The. Hell? First of all, how do you shove a potato up someone's ass? And second of all, how many beers have they had?

I shrugged and walked away, leaving Ireland and Germany laughing histarically.

The doors swung open and I saw everyone turn. "Hey, hey, hey!" I heard a voice shout, I then realised it was Texas. He had shaved his mini-goatee and was wearing a t-shirt and faded jeans. "There was a party, and 'yall didn't invite us?" he laughed.

Almost everybody groaned, with the exeption of Germany and Ireland. "We didn't invite you guys because we don't _like_ you!" Spain shouted. I guess Spain was still sore about the Cuba incident.

"Well that ain't nice." Arizona said and he glanced around for Spain.

"It wasn't supposed to be, you nimrod." California said to him and hit him in the shoulder.

Russia stormed up to me and glowered at me. "What the hell _Amerika_? Why did you invite _them_?" she hissed at me.

I held my hadns up, usually Russia would give me a creepy smile and start saying 'kolkolkol' or whatever. She kinda reminded me of her brother, Belarus, only in a girl-version. "Hey, Alaksa was getting lonley. He said he wanted them to come." I explained.

Idaho walked over to get a beer and Ireland saw him. "Heeeeeeeey laddie." He exclaimed and slung an arm around his shoulder.

"Uh, hey Ireland," He said nervously.

"You still trying to rip me off laddie? I'm the origional 'home of the potato'." he slurred.

"Uhhh okay." Idaho said and tried to move away from Ireland.

Ireland just shrugged and turned back to Germany. Idaho glanced in my direction, shrugged, and walked away. "That was weird." I said and took a sip of my beer.  
-

Minnesota frowned at a peice of paper in his hand. "Whatcha got there, Hal?" I asked and glanced over his shoulder.

"I don't know exactly, it says something here about Paul beating a boy up." he said uncertainly and squinted at the paper.

"Really?" I asked, not hiding my surprise. St. Paul was usually the type of person to avoid fights. It was his sister that was a trouble maker.

"Yeah, I'll have to have a talk with him when he gets back." Minnesota decided and stuffed the paper in his pocket.

Minnesota got up from the couch and went upstairs. "Where're you going?" I asked as I flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV.

"Ask Wisconson if he wants to have a drinking contest." he said and jogged up the stairs.

I rolled my eyes. He better not go out driving.  
~~~

"Oooh, Paul, you are in soooo much trouble!" I heard Minneapolis's voice as the door shut softly.

"Shut up! Dad might hear you!" St. Paul's voice whispered furiously.

"Kiiiiiids?" Minnesota's voice slurred from upstairs.

_Here we go._ I thought and flipped through channels on TV.

"Hey Dad!" Minneapolis called.

Minnesota stumbled down the stairs and staggered over to them. "Dad, did you and uncle Wisconson have a drinking contest again?" Minneapolis asked.

"You bet we did," Minnesota slurred.

"You win?"

"You bet I did," he said and jabbed a thumb to his chest. "Yer ol' Dad is the best at _everything_."

St. Paul tried to sneak upstairs but Minnesota glanced at him. "Where d' you think yer goin', boy?"

St. Paul froze. "No where."

"Get yer butt down here. I gotta talk to 'ay 'bout sumthin'." he slurred and pointed to the ground beside him.

St. Paul walked down the stairs and stood in front of Minnesota. Minnesota unexpectedly ruffled St. Paul's hair and laughed. "Good job boy! Was that kid bullin' 'ya?" he asked.

St. Paul hesitated, then nodded.

"Well good fer you. If you'll excuse me, yer pa's gonna take a nap." Minnesota said and plopped down on the couch next to me and started to snore.  
-

**Author's Note:**

**I was in ther middle of Alaska's part and it was taking forever so I just wrote a bunch of filler crap. :/ **

**Sorry for the wait, this one isn't very good.**


	3. Texas, Arizona, New Mexico

_**Chapter Four- Texas, Arizona, and New Mexico**_

"Hut, HIKE!" I shouted and held the ball while Texas took off. "Go long!" I called and threw the football. Texas was about to catch it when Arizona tackled him to the ground.

"Oh!" Arizona shouted when he got up. "In your _face!_"

Texas frowned at Arizona as he rose from the ground. "Shut yer trap. Before I shut it fer 'ya." He growled and dusted dirt off of his already dirty jeans.

Arizona stuck his toung out at Texas. "'Ya sure, buddy. If you can catch me." Arizona laughed.

New Mexico stood quietly beside me. I shook my head and laughed. "That's big talk Peter," I called to Arizona. "Especially since Kevin's bigger than you."

Arizona frowned at me. "Thanks _so _much for the support, Dad." he said flatly.

Texas shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well, let's just go back home. My back hurts 'cause _someone _tackled me. When we were playing _flag football_." he growled and glared at Arizona.

Arizona held his hands up. "Hey, man! How was I supposed to know what those flags were for?" he exclaimed.

New Mexico sighed in exasperation. "You guys are _estúpido_." He said in an annoyed voice.

Arizona glanced at New Mexico and grins. "It speaks!"

"Whatever," New Mexico spat. "I need to get going. My boss is going horseback riding and for some reason, he wants me to come with."

I rolled my eyes. "Well all right, bukaroo. Get goin'." Texas said and jutted his thumb toward New Mexico's crappy car. New Mexico sneered at Texas, but walked away.

"All right, I'm ready to go home and take a nice long nap, what about you, Taxi?" Arizona asked and stretched.

"First of all, don' ever call me Taxi 'gain. Got it? Second of all, I agree with 'th runt." Texas said.

"Runt?" Arizona repeated and frowned at Texas. "Just 'cause I'm smaller than you doesn't mea-"

"Okay! Let's go home and take a nap!" I said loudly, when Arizona and Texas get into a fight, it lasts forever. Arizona glared at Texas one more time, then followed me to the car, with Texas at his heels.  
-

"Hey, Kevin!" I called from the kitchen.

"Yeah Dad?" he called back.

"Come in the kitchen, will 'ya? It's your turn to make breakfast!"

"Yeah!" New Hampshire added. "Hurry up, I'm gettin' hungry!"

Texas stomped into the kitchen moments later, with bed head, still in his boxers, and his un-shaved face. "Put some damn pants on, for Pete's sake!" Colorado called.

"Shut it, Mountain Boy!" Texas growled at Colorado.

"Mountain Boy? Me? Wanna come over here and say that to my face?" Colorado challenged.

"Maybe I will!" Texas snarled.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Washington shouted. "Texas, calm your tits bro. What're you on, your man period or something? And Colorado, stop provoking Texas, everyone knows he can kick your ass if he wanted to."

Evryone murmmered in agreement. Colorado and Texas's faces turned bright red. They just scowled at each other on more time, then Colorado turned back to talk with Florida again. "Well, what Jessica said was _kinda _disturbing. But it worked!" I chriped. "Now, get crackin' on breakfast Kevin."

Texas sighed and walked over to the stove. "What do you want me to make?" he asked flatly.

"Pancakes!" New York shouted.

"Bacon!" Wisconsin and Minnesota added. Then they frowned at each other.

"Eggs!" Californa shouted halfheartedly while he flipped through a magazine.

"Okay, so basically a normal all 'Merican breakfast." Texas said.

Everyone nodded and I heard some, "Well duh"s. Texas started to get all of the supplies to feed fifty one people. So I turned to talk to Delaware. "How was your date with that one girl yesterday, Charlie? What was her name? Jennifer? Ginny?" I asked Delaware.

"Her name was Tiffany, Dad." Delaware sighed in exasperation. "It was all right. She was a real air head though. And she kept staring at me, it was kind of uncomfortable."

"Charile, _every _girl stares at you. We've established this." I said.

"Not _every _girl, Dad. That's being a little blunt." Delaware stated.

"Yahu." I protested. "You can't even go outside without being attacked by girls. That's why you're so pale!" I took one of his hands and waved it around. "You're like a vampire!"

Delaware snatched his hand away. "I am _not _pale!" he protested.

I held my hands up. "All right Deli! Whatever you say!"

**Hour Later...**

"Breakfast's done!" Texas said suddenly.

"Finally!" New Jersey shouted and lept up from his seat. He rushed over to Texas and held out his plate.

"Dish it yourself, Jersey." He growled and walked away.

New Jersey frowned at him. "Aren't you gonna eat?" His reply was a slamming door.

"Jeez." Georgia frowned. "What's his problem?" he asked and walked to the food to get some breakfast.

"Like I said," Washington. "he's on his man period."

"He's just bummed because his girlfriend dumped him." Arizona slurred and walked over to the food.

"Texas had a _girlfriend__?_ Like, a real girl?" Montanna asked and frowned. "No offense to Texas. But who would date him?"

"That's what I was thinkin'!" Alabama agreed and shoved some eggs in his mouth.

"Guys, guys. Don't be so mean!" I said as I sat down with my glorious breakfast. "You know we all talk that way about Allison behind her back." I said as I devoured my bacon.

Californa frowned at me. "Dude, you totally killed the mood. Why'd you have to like, go and tell her that?" he asked and bit into his pancake.

"Give me the damn syrup!" someone suddeny yelled.

"Not done with it yet!" Someone else yelled back. Oh great, Minnesota's hogging the syrup again.

"Dude, how much syrup do you _need__?_" Maine asked her brother.

"Lots, plus, Dad _finally_ got the real stuff instead of that crappy store brand." Minnesota said through a mouthfull of pancake.

"You're going to get diabetes." New York said flatly.

"Oh yeah?" Minnesota growled after he finished his pancake. "I don't have to lower my pop sizes becuase of _obesity_." he shot back and stabbed his pancake with his fork in an effort to pick it up.

"Don't talk about that." New York said quickly.

"Sure, that's what I thought." Minnesota said smugly.

"Just finish your damn breakfast and quit bickering." I said and frowned. I wanted to enjoy my breakfast without 49 brats whining.  
-

"Hey! Frank!" I called to New Mexico and knocked on his door.

New Mexico opened the door reluctently. "_¿Sí?_" he asked.

"Wanna come play baseball with me?" I asked and put on a big grin.

"Umm, I kind of have some work to do, _papá. _Maybe later." New Mexico replied and tried to shut the door. I put my hand on the door and forced it open.

"What kinda work? Paperwork?" I asked and waltzed into his room.

"_Sí_." New Mexico replied, slightly annoyed. "My boss says to have it done by tomorrow afternoon. So, I would like to have it finished by her deadline."

"Come on, it's not even that much!" I exclaimed. "You can leave for an hour or two! And I promise, as soon as we're done, I'll bring you right back home so you can finish your paperwork." I gave him my puppy-dog face.

New Mexico sighed. "Fine," He said reluctently. "I'll go play baseball with you. But who else is going?"

"Ummm. Kevin, Jenna, Billy, Hal, Max, Ashley, me, and you." I replied as I counted the people with my fingers. New Mexico seemed to try and think up another excuse not to go along and play baseball with us, but he gave up and told me to get out. I frowned. "Why?"

"I'm not going to play baseball is a suit." New Mexico said flatly, as if it was obvious.

"Then, don't wear suits as casual wear." I stated, instead of a reply, he shut the door in my face.  
~~~

"Why is Minnesota here?" Wisconsin asked and jerked his thumb toward his younger brother.

"Because he wanted to come along." I said and hefted my bat.

"Yeah, so? He sucks! With a capital S!" Wisconsin said loudly, loud enough for Minnesota to hear. Minnesota just glared at Wisconsin and stalked up to us.

"Okay," he said in his Canadian-American accent. "We gotta pick teams, right? So who's gonna be the captains?" he asked and scowled at Wisconsin. He clearly did not want Wisconsin to be one of the captains.

"Oh, I almost forgot about that!" I exclaimed awkwardly. "Uh, how about Kevin and me? That would work!"

"Sure," They both dismissed and continued to glare at each other.

"Alright everyone!" I called. "Time to pick the teams! Me and Kevin are gonna be captains." I saw Texas smirk at Florida, who looked like she was going to punch Texas in the face.

Texas and I stood side-by-side while the other states stood in a circle, waiting to be picked. "Ok, Kevin. You can pick first." I offered and gestured toward the waiting states.

Kevin looked thoughtfull for a moment then finally said. "Florida." he said and pointed to the girl.

Florida just frowned and stepped beside Texas. "I pick...Frank!" I said and pointed at New Mexico. He nodded and stood beside me. Texas and florida whispered back and forth for a minute or two.

"Come on guys," Montanna yawned. "We don't have all day." she tapped her wrist. "I have a meeting with my boss and capital at 5:00. So let's make this snappy."

"Shut it Montanna." Texas snapped, then went back to whispering. When they _finally _made their decision, Florida pointed to Wisconsin. "Hey, Cheesehead, get over here," Texas said and motioned for Wisconsin to come over. Wisconsin smuggly grinned at Minnesota, who looked like he was going to strangle him.

"Hal," I said. Minnesota confidently strode up to my team and stood there defiently.

"Massachusetts."

"Ashley."

"Okay, now that we got all our teams established, who's gonna bat first?"Texas asked. "Anyone got a coin?"

"Nah. My team'll go first." I said and motioned for my team to follow me. Texas narrowed his eyes at me.

"Why do you guys get to go first?" he asked.

"Because, we're better. And I, who fathered _all _of you. _Always _goes first." I said and walked to home plate and hefted my bat. I stood there and watched the states fight and bicker about who gets which place. Wisconsin wanted to pitch but Florida was already pitcher, now they're fighting over the position. I yawned and leaned on my bat. "Anyday now!" I said casually and smiled at them. Wisconsin and Florida's heads both snapped toward me and glared at me.

"Stay outta this, Dad!" Wisconsin growled.

"Yeah!" Florida agreed.

I rolled my eyes. If this continued, this argument could last for years. "Come _on!" _Massachusetts growled from first base. "quit your arguing! Wisconsin! Get your ass back to third base!" Wisconsin glared daggers at Massachusettes, but stalked back to third base.

"Finally!" I exclaimed and got into my hitting position. Florida narrowed her eyes, wound up her arm, then threw a fast ball. I swung and it hit the ball square on. making it soar over into the outfield. "Homerun!" I grinned and jogged around the bases. Texas dashed off to get the ball while I jogged along.

I finally made it to home just as Texas was getting back with the ball. "Hal! You're up!" I called to the Minnesotan.

He nodded and took the bat from me. "EASY OUT!" Wisconsin called.

"I hope the ball hits your face!" Minnesota called.

"Hey, you two!" New Mexico warned.

Minnesota and Wisconsin ignored him. Minnesota got into a batting stance and Florida wound up her arm and threw a curve ball. Minnesota hit it, and it did hit Wisconsin-in the face. "Oops." he said. He didn't look the least bit sorry.

I frowned. "Um, game postponed?" I suggested and walked over to the now knocked out Wisconsin.

"Sure," Everyone said and shrugged.  
-

Arizona grinned in my face. I frowned at him. "What the fuck do you want? It's four in the morning." I grumbled and blinked.

"It's Christmas morning, Dad! Think of the presents!" He exclaimed.

"We're the only ones awake, there are no presents." I frowned. "Now let me go back to sleep before I knock you out."

"Hey, where's the Christmas spirit, Pops? Plus, Minnesota's awake. He's drinking coffee!" Arizona pointed out.

"Hal gets up at four in the morining _all_ _the time_. He likes to watch the sun rise and all that junk. Now let me go back to sleep until ten or so. If you're to awake to go back to sleep go drink coffee with Hal or watch TV or something." I grumbled and pulled a pillow over my head.  
~~~

**At a reasonable time to wake up in the morning...**

I yawned and stretched my arms. I glanced at my digital clock, it read: _10 AM_. Great time to wake up in the morning. I got up and put on a shirt and sweatpants. I exited my room to go down to the kitchen to have my cup of coffee.

Arizona was contently sipping some coffee and chatting with New Mexico. "So how's Santa Fe? Good?" Arizona asked contently.

"Uhh, she's fine. How's Phoenix?" New Mexico asked.

"Oh, he's great! He's back in the homeland covering for me in a meeting, but he'll be here when we have the party." Arizona replied and took another sip of his coffee.

"Oh, Dad, you're up!" Minnesota said and smiled at me. "Merry Christmas!"

"Yeah, you too, Halvar." I grinned at Minnesota's full name. It was Norway's idea to name Minnesota that. Minneapolis snickered. "Your real name is _Halvard_, Dad?" she snickered.

"Yes, Hanna. Before I named you Hanna. I thought about naming you Helga." Minnesota joked.

Minneapolis shuddered. "That sounds like a fat old lady's name." she said.

"Yeah. So Dad, want a cup?" Minnesota asked and held up the fresh pot of coffee he just made.

I nodded. "Extra cream and sugar." I reminded him.

"Yeah yeah." he said and rolled his eyes.  
~~~

Soon everyone arrived for the Christmas party, we were just waiting on one person. Canada. My brother was always late to my Christmas parties. New York just wanted to open presents without him since evryone else was here, but I insisted on waiting for him. I stared at the door and willed Canada to walk through it. Just then, he opened the door and smiled lightly. "Hi, Sorry I'm late. The Provinces are getting the gifts." he said quietly.

"Don't worry 'bout it, Mattie!" I exclaimed and got up. "I'm just glad you can make it! There's a terrible storm out there!"

Canada smiled back. "Glad I could make it. Got any coffee, eh? It's cold out there." he said and walked into the kitchen.

"Yeah, help yourself!" I said.

Just then, The Canadian Provinces burst through the door with armfulls of presents. "Merry Christmas." They greeted.

"Where should we set these?" Ontario asked and hefted the presents in his arms.

Albany pointed toward the Christmas Tree. "The Christmas tree." he said.

"Thanks." Yukon said and dropped the presents under the tree. "Those things were getting heavy."

"I bet." Colorado said. "Look at all of 'em! You guys didn't have to get presents for _all _of us. You couldda left out Texas."

Texas just frowned at Colorado. "Is it okay if I smoke in here?" Quebec asked me.

"Nah. Go ahead."

"Thanks." He said as he pulled a cigarette out and lit it up.

"Okay! Present time!" New York said and grabbed a random present. He looked at the tag. "Ummm...Wisconsin. Here's a gift for 'ya."  
~~~

"Thanks for all the presents and stuff guys!" Canada said and smiled.

"The least we could do." I said and slung an arm around my brother's shoulders. "Hope we all enjoyed ourselves."

Canada nodded. "Of course."

"What now?" Washington asked.

I grinned. "Let's get wasted!"

Wisconsin liked that idea.

Canada laughed. "Not really a good idea, Al."

"Ah, well. Merry Christmas everybody."

* * *

**AN:**

**OMFG THIS CHAPTER SUCKS. **

**I couldn't figure out what states to write about next so I took Katesmak's request into consideration. So, Arizona, New Mexico, and texas happened.**

**For NotRenn:**

**Thanks for the review. 0.0**

**Delaware: Oh! Um...Thank you? **

**Happy Belated Holidays everyone. :)**

**Review and favorite please!**


	4. Maine and Massachusets

_**Chapter Four: Massachusets and Maine**_

"Come on, Massachusets! You're such a sissy! You swing an axe like _this._" Maine frowned and grabbed the axe from her brother.

Massachusets frowned at his younger sister. "Okay then. Exuuuuse me for not swinging an axe the right way." he huffed and watched Maine chop down a sapling with one skillfull swing. "Anyone can do that, hell, _California _could do that." he huffed and sneered.

Maine laughed. "Californa couldn't _lift _an axe, let alone swing it." she replied and inspected the blade. She threw it up, then caught the handle and handed it to Massachusets. "Try again."

I laughed as I watched Massachusets try and swing the axe correctly. "I remember when you used to be a pro at this Max, what happened?" I asked and sat down on a tree stump.

Massachusets glared at me. "What happend Dad, is that I became a tree hugger and began to industeralize." he replied and dropped the axe on the ground.

"_You? A tree hugger? _Bullshit!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah totally." Massachusets replied. "Save the Sap Nose Shit Eater and all that stuff." he replied. "Anyway, let's quit this tree chopping crap and move onto important matters. Lunch. Let's go grab a burger." He replied as he picked the axe up and handed it to his younger sister.

Damn. This kid new me well. "I'm all for it! How about you, Jenny?" I asked and looked at Maine with puppy-dog eyes. She seemed annoyed at first, but then sighed.

"Fine." she replied and walked with us to Massachusets's car.  
-

Damn.

All this fucking snow is shit. So far we have one foot of snow. One foot guys! I sighed and leaned back into my comfortable LazE Boy recliner. I sipped my black coffee and watched the snow fall heavily outside. I heard the door open, and my head quickly snapped toward the sound. "Hello?" I called.

"Just me Dad." Massachusets said as he took off his boots and snow gear. "It's snowing like a bitch outside."

"I bet. Must be a bitch to drive in too." I added with a sip of my coffee.

"Sure is." Massachusets agreed and hung his coat of the hanger. He glanced at my coffee wistfully. "Any left?" he asked as he headed for the kitchen.

"Yep. You know where the cream and sugar are." I replied and kept my eyes glued on the window. Just then, Maine stomped in the house. Her face red from the cold and her curly brown hair poking out of her hat.

She held up the bottle of whiskey and smiled. "Your order, Mr. Jones." she said teasingly as she pulled of her hat.

"Oh, Jen," I laughed. "don't tell the others, but you're my favorite." I said as I got up from my chair to grab the whiskey. She snatched away the bottle from me and grinned.

"Drinking contest. Get the guys down here." she said as she slipped of her coat and boots. She strode into the kitchen without further say.

I frowned after her. Dude, that was _my _whiskey! _I _gave her money to buy it! But, I shrugged it off and walked up the stairs. "Drinking Contest!" I called and ran down the stairs before Wisconsin, Minnesota, Texas, New York, New Hampshire, Delaware, DC, and Nevada came stumbling down the stairs. They scrambled into the kitchen and gathered around the table, their eyes lit up with determination.

"I'm going to win you guys, don't need to waste your breath." Wisconsin jeered at the others.

"Oh, really," Minnesota replied flatly. "I swear on my life that you've always gotten completely drunk after two beers. And two shots of whiskey."

New York frowned. "I agree with Hal, you do get drunk pretty fast. You're like Britian. Except your an alchoholic."

The others agreed. Wisconsin's face went pink he turned to Maine and snapped:

"Just pour the damn whiskey!"

Maine pursed her lips. "Jeez Mr. Pushy. Maybe I should disqualify you." she replied as she set the shot glasses down.

Wisconsin ignored her and stared at the shot glasses as Maine filled them to the brim. She gave them to each of them and yelled:

"Go!"

They all easily downed their shot and slammed it on the table. Maine poured more of it and they did it again.

**_A Couple Shots Later..._**

"Y-you know guys?" New York slurred.

"Wha?" Wisconsin asked and leaned over the table to talk to his drunk brother.

"I-I love you guys." he replied in his drunk voice and smiled warily. Wisconsin nodded in agreement.

Minnesota was probably less drunk than New York and Wisconsin, but he was still drunk. "Mhm." he replied into his shot glass.

New Hampshire snorted in reply and finished his tenth shot. "Pour me another, will 'ya sis?" he asked, his voice clear and didn't contain a slurred word. Maine nodded and poured him another. Delware was a bit tipsy, but other than that he was fine. Nevada was drunk, but not too drunk.

DC was just like New Hampshire. He smiled at his brothers and sipped at his shot glass. He leaned back and scratched his head and held his shot glass in his free hand. "I think New York and Wisconsin are out. They look like they're gonna pass out." he remarked.

"I agree with the kid." Minnesota slurred and pointed at the duo. "Three strikes, theeeey're out."

"I think you are too, Minnie." Nevada added. Minnesota blinked, then shrugged.

"I guess," he said. "Gotta tend to th' kids anyway." he got up from his chair and stumbled back upstairs. Wisconsin and New York just passed out on each other and started to snore. Delaware laughed at them, showing off his pearly whites.

"So it's just us now," DC said and downed his whiskey.

"I guess so boys. Just to let you know, I'm going to win this thing." New Hampshire said and leisurly sipped his whiskey.

"Nah, I'm gonna win guys." Delaware objected.

_**Just a Liiitle Bit Longer...**_

Nevada and Delaware had been elimanated, and now DC and New Hampshire were on a drink to the death contest. I could tell DC was drunk, very drunk. But New Hampshire didn't seem to notice and just continued to drink his whiskey. Finally, DC tipped over and fell to the floor. New Hampshire lept up and threw the whiskey in the air. "WOOOHOO! WHO'S THE DRINKING CHAMPION? THIS. BITCH. RIGHT. HERE!" he exclaimed and threw the remaining whiskey into the air. "IT'S WHISKEY RAIN!"

Maine and I just frowned at New Hampshire, who was prancing around the kitchen and screaming "WHISKEY RAIN".

"What the Hell?" Massachusets called from the living room.

"New Hampshire won." Maine and I called in unison.

"Oh." was all he said.

**AN:**

**Sorry this chapter's so short. I just put the Maine story and Massachusets story into one so that it could be done quicker. **

**New Good Cop, Bad Cop chapter will be up soon!  
**

**Reviews and Favorites are nice! :)**


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